The only thing that stays constant in life is change.I have not blogged for quite a while and i decided i should start with something of impact, that pretty much summarises what happened in my life lately - changes and more changes. As much as i pretty much hate changes ever since some great deal of stuff happened to me, i couldn't really do anything much to stop them from happening, can i? Things are changing like every single day now, and i obviously don't enjoy it. It's too unpredictable already. I know changes are something that are not able to be avoided, but some things change too fast now? Adding on to it, they change constantly. Win. -.- Once again it affected me of course - it is just that i always choose to pretend i'm alright. What else can i do? People are too busy to care. >.<
I seriously don't know what to expect now. I mean i can jolly well just don't care anything and just focus on work (which is hardly possible), but then occasionally i get positive replies that seemed as though nothing happen - for a while and then they would stop. I can be objective when i stand as a third party helping people solve their problems, but as for my own, it's just total chaos. I can't, for heaven's sake, guess what is going on just from the "Hot and Cold" replies i get! I mean, it's just like what happened last year, all over again! This time though, it's at a much closer proximity, which obviously, leaves no room for escape. Great! :( I really need a breather. :(
On a side note, i finally got my interview slot for pilot vocation with the RSAF! :) This meant that i passed my COMPASS test that i took last year! Phew! And i thought i was a goner after finishing the test. It's on 22nd July though! Crap! I didn't expect it to come so suddenly. I just got a call today and they just informed me. I have two weeks to prepare, and i really really do not want to screw this up. =X There's just so many disappointments i have since last year that i really DO NOT want to face another one. I have too many regrets already, and i don't want to spend the rest of my life living with lots of regrets! :( At least this is something which i can control to a certain extent.
And yes, i am finally feeling the stress of things. With so many things to catch up on before prelims, i apparently have not much time left! Things are simply in chaos now and i just keep losing faith that i can make it. Where did my confidence all go to? The worse thing is, this stress is only keeping me awake now, and make me stay here and waste even more time when i should be either sleeping or frantically trying to complete much of my undone work. =X I am getting slacker and slacker by the day - more and more of the "don't care" feeling. Am i getting used to it? Hope not. Come on. Screw the NATO (No Action Talk Only) way of doing things! Else at this rate, i'll never even get a proper place in NTU, much less think about Imperial College. -.- Good luck to me! :)
Once in a while i still will try to comprehend this. Why do people try their very best to go against what their heart really wants?口是心非. Controlling the brain.
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