There's a post below dated 8th May. Apparently i was typing it halfway and thus i didn't post it, but it seems like i have no way to continue that post as well, so might as well just post what i have. Do read, since my blog has been dead for so long.
I have been really busy, at the same time killing myself by sleeping later and later. One day if i really die young, don't bother to find out the why did i die so early, because it has to be due to all the lack of sleep. I feel terrible now. Emotionally and physically. It's the after effects of not being able to get to sleep yesterday plus the ever lasting emotional attacks i receive from both known and unknown sources. I'm confused - i don't know what is going on, i don't know what to expect, i don't know what is true and what is not... I don't know everything already. The weather adds to my stress, and apparently, it's killing me! -.- I don't like this; i serious don't! But what can i do? o.O
I realised that i am behaving more and more strangely recently too. I think maybe some people may not discover this, even those close to me. One thing that's quite a joke is that i get my conscious mind kicking in even when i'm dreaming! That proves that my mind is not even resting when i'm sleeping. Here's an example:
"I had a dream about me losing my slippers and some other thing. I was finding them back in the dream and i found that thing back. I continued to search for my slippers in my dream and then my mind actually told me to wake up, because as long as i wake up, i know my slippers will be back since i'm dreaming, which eventually i did!"
My mind actually knows that i'm dreaming when i'm sleeping! It happens more than once already. So i am actually sleeping with my mind awake! How nice! What good rest i'm getting huh. I think it's enough for now. I should go try and get some rest before i wake up and start doing some stuff that i have to clear ASAP again. Sigh.
It takes a whole deal of courage just to love someone... and it takes a whole long period of hurtful time to forget someone you love...Asphyxiated
1:38:00 pm
It's been a long time since i'm free to sit down in front of the computer and type out all my thoughts properly in a blog post. There are lots of things that happened recently - good stuff, bad stuff, happy stuff, sad stuff - basically a whole range of stuff. Things got tensed, got me stressed up to my maximum capacity, going crazy - which includes doing some stuff i won't really do normally - bewildered, and the list goes on. Basically it's not just a roller coaster ride, it's an emotional upheaval, especially when i saw that three lines that got my heart pumping fast and woke me up when i was 90% dead - I was worried. Sigh. I've been starting to cough too. Apparently it's getting worse, and i should stop my bad habit about ignoring my cough and carry on drinking all the cold drinks. -.-
On another note, have you ever felt lonely before? o.O Even when you know a lot of people in school or outside school, but you just felt like there's no one practically close to you? That's what i typed last weekend...
Carry on with the hatred and hurt those close to you... Let go of it and love the people around you, and in turn, they will love you back.Confused.
11:59:00 pm