"也许, 我们都对自己最在乎的人太过严格了, 不是吗?"
I heard this sentence recently, and i found it very meaningful. Do you think that is true? o.O To the someone out there, i don't know if you are still reading this. But if you are, i would like to say although i don't know what's the reason for all this change in you, why things must become like this, what in the world are you trying to do, but i still believe one day you will become the same old you. And the very fact that you are still here reading this means you care, and you actually reply me despite claiming that i'm annoying when you can actually just ignore me. I don't know what you are trying to escape on, but i feel really really sad not being able to share any of your burdens. :(
Haiz. Things are getting more and more complicated, or is it just me? No i don't think so. I am screwing myself up lately. See the time now and i'm still not sleeping, and once i sleep, i can't get up. Something feels missing from my life. I lost the ability to laugh from my heart. It's gone. But will it be recovered? o.O I guess it all depends on the that very fateful day, and it's going to come really soon. 11th January. And just great. The results for the retest would be coming out on the 11th too. That's a lot of my friends being affected on that day. Although i don't have any results, i do have my FIRST day of school on that day. -.-
I seriously don't wish to go back to school, because i don't know how can i handle what is going on. What if the miracle didn't happen? What if fate still remains as cruel? What if things don't turn for the better? Unforgettable JC life. It's really unforgettable, but it's not about the JC, it's more about the things that happened in the previous year. Can i don't see a repeat this year? Of course the good things are welcomed, but i genuinely hope that the bad things can stay away? Else i really don't know how can i handle them. Enough of being an owl already. Enough of escaping from my problems. Enough of staying on the bed and refusing to get up, just because i want to 'see what happens next in my dreams'. -.- What exactly is going on in my world? It's like in total chaos now. :(
On a lighter note, i may get addicted to swimming now. It really helps me to forget everything for that very moment, and just concentrate on how may laps i have swam. I swam 6 laps for warm up and 16 laps after that on both days that i went to Yishun SAFRA (6th and 7th Jan). It helps my thinking too, perhaps to clear my mind. But i realised my happiness does not last long as usual, and there i am back to face everything again. Swimming seems like a good way to escape for awhile. At least it's like exercise and prevent me from getting fat. Haha. Alright. Time to get some sleep. :)
Would you go all the way to help someone, to hope that someone would just turn back, to wait for her no matter how long? I would.if i known you earlier...
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