I am emotionally unstable now. I feel like i am losing control of my mind already. My mind is still in that lazy mode that don't feel like doing anything at all. It's making me into a completely useless person. How can i wake myself up? :( Enough of all this already. I feel like an idiot now - a completely useless idiot. I can't even control my brain to do things; it's like it is controlling me, instead of the other way round! -.- What in the world is wrong with me? Sick till i lost my brain? Or is it what happened in December? o.O I have no idea.
I spent my free days in December basically rotting - like a totally useless person. Sleep and sleep and sleep, whole day clicking on the computer doing nothing, and that's it. Luckily i still got some jobs, so apparently i didn't waste it totally. Ever since after 5th December, i seemed to like give up on myself - being extremely lazy and don't care about everything. And i think that's how i still feel now, perhaps worse. Somebody help?
It seems like i experienced a similar situation before at the start of Secondary 3, but i think this time round it has gotten worse. I think i am living in some dream land. I just continue to imagine and dream without any work to it. But things are not going to get done if i just dream and imagine, they need actual work! The thing is i'm not doing it! I know i repeated that many times in this post. I am trying to tell myself that it's really really time to wake up. I don't think that will be of much use since i have told myself countless times that in previous posts, but it's still worth a try. I need to get my brain back. I need to work hard. I need to be myself again. How do i protect someone if i can't even protect myself?! Wake up you idiot!
If that 'you' is referring to me, and the thing is what i am thinking, then i understand.Wake up.
1:16:00 am