This post is written with someone in mind, but it's directed to everyone else as well. If that specific someone is reading this, which maybe you won't, please do not blame yourself for this. :( I am just analysing myself, that's all. It's not your fault. Continue to enjoy! xD
What a nice time to start a post. Anyway, pardon the way i phrase my sentences here. Somehow just felt like using this way to phrase, if not i'll feel worse. Backspaced the previous post i typed and decided not to put it up. Too bad. You will never know the contents of that. xP
Okay la. This marks the start of zibei-ing. Sorry if i say i wouldn't, i just couldn't promise that i wouldn't. Sian luh. I still feel like i am being thrown back whenever something more important is coming on the way. Like duh, of course if something is more important it should be dealt with first la, but somehow like a lot of things is more important. Lols. I think i sound like someone trying to seek attention, like very childish. I don't know how, i don't know why, but it seems that it somehow brought back this childish side of me, of being such a "小气鬼" and so easy to get jealous. Yes, your eyes didn't fail you. I do get jealous sometimes you know. xP I heard from somewhere that when you get jealous over someone, means you care a lot about that someone. Is that true? o.O
I think i'm getting super duper weird and strange. I can even get high while zibei-ing now. Or perhaps it's just that i was already high just now le. It's still better than i start writing in full complete sentences and then i start to think and think. I think i am seriously getting more and more boring as a person already, with all the 'talking' and all the 'advice' (how big you want the sarcasm to be is up to you). Maybe i have make you feel as though i have seen a lot, which you probably doubt that i did. I should get back to become more and more childish. Perhaps then i could be less boring. Should I? o.O I don't know. You tell me.
I am like always following people around, trying to mix into any group of people that i am okay with. Sometimes i would be successful, other times i would end up falling and hurting myself with much bruises - that is when i keep my mouth shut. No matter how i mix in, it's just like that point of time only, after that i need to 're-enter' all over again. I supposed a ball would be a good analogy to describe me - rolling around, tossing from one point to another.
Sometimes Most of the time, when i do not have enough sleep, i'll just get sianed and keep quiet all the way, and then fade into my shadows... *poof* i disappeared. At those times, i exist = i don't exist.
Okay i should be sleeping ages ago. I think i'll be screwed even at the last day of school. Maybe i am asking for too much. Maybe i am doing too much. Maybe i shouldn't be so selfish. Maybe i shouldn't be so selfless. Maybe what? YOU tell me.
Always in search of someone who will place me as one of the top priorities. Will YOU? o.OI still have a tinge of feeling that i am forcing you to be one. :(
12:00:00 am