I think I'm getting lazier and lazier as the days go by. My procrastinating habit is back. Every time i want to do something, i will find some excuse and tell myself that i will do it tomorrow. However, the 'tomorrow' never ever seems to come at all. I guess i really deserve the title 'Pro^2crastinator', because i don't only procrastinate things i don't really enjoy doing but i have to do. -_-"
I wonder how do you link your heart to your brain and then to your body to carry out the actions. It's like they are at separate departments now that never coincides with each other, thus not working with each other. Perhaps it's because i think i am dreaming most of the time - not only when i am asleep, but even when i am awake as well. Economics comes in here again (it really relates huh) - scarcity. I suppose we do have unlimited wants, in the case of me, i do 'dream' a lot. That is the resources that's available, in most cases it's time, is a finite resource. 24 hours a day and i am trying to pack everything up as closely as possible, yet it is ultimately extremely hard to follow it. I think i am being far too unrealistic; but if we do have to go everything by logic and be realistic all the time, where are we going to get all our excitement and enjoyment from? So which is better? Being unrealistic for a moment and get disappointed if it don't really turn out as what you may have expected it to, or be realistic all of the time and sacrifice the hope and desire for probably a higher return?
The former is probably a gamble, and the latter, a safer and smoother way. I still think i am a 'gambling addict'. It is still better to take the risk and hope for a better result, than to sit down and think realistically how and what can only be achieved. The former will at least provide you with a glimmer of hope - no matter how small it is, it's still better then no hope at all. And that is me, my personality. Because i always have 'fanciful dreams' that motivates me to push myself harder, but seriously it is hard to maintain the motivation for it to translate to my actions. How am i going to make those 'fanciful dreams' come true? o.O
Disappointments may pull me back somehow, and led me astray with my thoughts. It's just like hitting me off the road i am walking with a huge injury. I feel that i have conflicting personalities inside me. What do i really want??
Dreams may end up being sweet, or it may end up being a nightmare. What is the key to make it sweet then?I need motivation to keep my going. Push me on, and not pull me back... Please.
4:30:00 pm